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Happiness Life Women

Recommended reading to awake the soul and mind

December 12, 2016

Looking to get some reading down time during the holiday period while inspiring the spirit?

Everyone has a few recommendations for books that have helped them on their way throughout life.  I’d like to share mine with you, in order of preference, to give you a shake up and get you thinking.

Reflections on the Art of Living – Joseph Campbell

My definite favourite all time book, you can just browse through this and take from it what you will.  It provides simple stories and essays about life which encourage you to think, question and create change.

Women who run with the Wolves – Clarissa Pinkola Estés

If you’re a women this is the book that enables you to fully explore what it is to be female, in all its facets.  This is one book that should live on your night-stand and is the go-to in times of mediation, trouble and reflection.

The Artist’s Way – Julia Cameron

Giving you an inspiration guided journey towards your creativity, I strongly recommend Julia Cameron’s practice of artist dates and morning pages, among other things, to anyone looking to unlock their creativity.

The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood

Written by Margaret Atwood, this is something for every woman to ponder.  Atwood’s foresight into the possibilities of the plight of women into the future is chilling.  Published in 1985, she has captured a world which we see in real life in some parts of our world.

The Tipping Point – Malcolm Gladwell

One of my favourite modern day thinkers.  Take from this a range of thing but it gives a great insight into us as tribes, our consumerism, our thinking and what drives us.

He: Understanding Male Psychology – Robert A Johnston

An interesting take from this famed Jungian analyst about the male psyche – definitely a great grounding for understanding a different perspective about men.

I’d love to also hear from you regarding what you’re reading if you’d like to share.

 

 

Happiness Life Women

Recognising the Free Woman

December 7, 2016

You can see free women in all the normal places. They stand out. There’s something about them that seems to sparkle. There is a spring in their step. And I’ll say, they have that ‘glow thing’ happening.

What is a free woman? No, not just single, not just able to traipse wherever they want, whenever they want. Not necessarily wealthy either although we know this helps.

A free woman is a woman in her skin and aware of her space within the world.

She is secure in the person she is and is aware of the potential that still lies ahead. She is aware of her emotions and doesn’t try and control these; she just has them. Her body is hers to do with it what she wants and she’s kinda reconciled herself with all the parts. The knowledge she’s collected over the years have given her inspiration, ideas, sadness and joy. It has changed her, moulded her, locked up her just as much as it has set her free.

She has plans, this free woman, but she in mindful. Her ebb and flow changes but she sits within herself, not judging. It washes over her. She just is. There is not much she can change although when it comes she takes it in hand. It is her responsibility.

Free woman can say yes just as much as she can say no. When she needs to take rest, even if it’s in the middle of the afternoon, she will take it. Able to watch herself, she seeks what is good for her and what is also good for others. Her truth is with her, as is her weakness, her strength and her desire. Free woman has worked hard to sit in her skin. And she lets other take their time as her sisterhood also seek their own version.

Part of the freedom comes with age. So many women say that they hit forty and they suddenly no longer give a shit. They review their reactions, decisions and the responsibilities they took onboard through their children, teenage years, 20’s and 30’s and think, wow. They take all the best bits, the parts that nourished and fed their spirit and it rushed to them in an easier to see package and they grab it and open it up. They say, ‘That is mine.’

What comes with this is completely ‘fresh eyes’. It’s like the rose-coloured glasses are taken off and they are viewing it in a clearer and more succinct way. Her agenda is her own. This new view makes it easier to navigate the places which previously where harder or murkier. The confidence seems to be there. If you need it, even a shred of it on the worst day, it’s within distance. It’s like all the tools are suddenly in the harness that wraps over your shoulders, just beneath your cape. A whole new world to experience like a child reborn.

Getting to free isn’t a thing you find overnight. It’s not something you wake up to.

It doesn’t come with a birthday. It doesn’t’ click in through a dream or a conversation. It is a gradual build of sorting through the collection of how life has been and how we want to be.

It’s getting the little girl of yesteryear to reignite. It’s remembering those times in your head where you imagined what could be possible, what you were going to do next, and then doing it. With or without permission.

Happiness Life

Get yourself some ‘Woo Woo’

September 27, 2016

It’s amazing the amount of articles you can find on how to be a better leader or a better manager.  I’m more interested in people writing articles on how you can be a better person; more forgiving, more patient, more peaceful and all those important things.

I was talking to a colleague yesterday about the rejection of things considered too ‘woo woo’.  By that we mean things tainted by the poisoned concept of self help.  People easily gobble up the top ten of ‘getting the team to perform’ or ‘how to improve your productivity’ but why do they often scoff at practices or methods which guide towards a more fulfilled or happy existence?

Personally, I think we are in such trouble as a tribe that simply anything has to be better than where a lot of us have our focus as the moment.  Time poor, social media obsessed, over worked and under loved, I think a good dose of ‘woo woo’ is the salve we need for this modern day burn.

Put down the faster, better, stronger work manual.  Go find the stuff which investigates a deeper realm.  Invest in yourself first and the less about being what the company wants you to be.

Happiness Life

Change is a constant. We better get used to it

July 22, 2016

There’s the old adage regarding ‘from action comes action.’

If you want change, your action will assist it to come forth.  If you don’t want change and it’s coming for you, or you’re in the midst of it, then your actions are still somehow turning the cogs.

Because change is inevitable. We’ve made such a big deal about it to the point where we usually think about it in the negative context.  But what if we thought of it as a ‘just is’?

I’ve heard people lie about their love for change because most of the time their changes keeps them in their drama.  I’ve also heard the dread that people express about change despite them handling it beautifully, step by step, evolution in song.

What seems to make change so difficult is our need to hang on

to things that we should simply let pass us by.

We’ve got out grip on bad love, a job that’s run its course or our ageing bodies.  Lessen that grip. Go with it.

This is not to say all we should let go of is the negative.  No, indeed, letting go of the positive also serves to build on it further.  If we can accept that our journey is really there to support us, we can begin to understand that it’s not a case of good and bad, rather it is just the flow of life.

The concept of letting go was something I struggled with for many years.  My very frustrated naturopath at the time used to tell me, “Just let go of it all” and I responded by saying, as my usually practical self, “Show me how to do that.”  He never did but eventually I learned by myself.

And what I learned was this.

I had to stop worrying about what had gone behind me.  I had to stop worrying about what was ahead of me.  I just had to learn to put myself right in the moment because that was all that counted.  In the beginning it was difficult but soon I learned that to stay in the moment I had to focus on what was happening RIGHT then and there.  What was I doing in that moment in time.  What was happening around me? Was I noticing/seeing/experiencing the details?

By taking in the details of the moment you can sit right there, dealing only with what is important at the time.

You can’t ultimately control what has passed nor what is ahead. So smell the roses and be right here.  Change will continue so sit back and take in the view. One moment at a time.

 

Life Women

Dating or considering dating a woman over 40?

April 8, 2014

Some things to consider –

  • You are in her life because she thinks you are great. Nothing more, nothing less.
  • If she asks you for coffee you are going to have a coffee. She is going to check you out in a non-committal situation because, despite you thinking she wants to hang curtains with you, she realises she doesn’t know you and wants to see who you are as a person before committing to going to dinner.
  • She had a life before you and she will have a life during you and she will have a life after you, if it ends. At forty, women have built a life and if she is dating you then you will form part of that wonderful life too.
  • She is dating you because she wants a companion not a father, a boss or an older brother who will tell her what she is doing wrong.
  • She is dating you because she is a vibrant women with a lot to offer. She isn’t dating you because she wants to be your mother.
  • Women over forty have come to realise that age/money/looks are less important than finding someone who thinks she is as special as she thinks she is.
  • If she has children then she is more than likely not going to want any more children but you would have to have that conversation with her. If she has no children she is more than likely not going to want children but you would have to have that conversation with her. And if she does have children it is almost 100% that the kids already have a father and she is simply dating you because she likes you.
  • There is little or no room for playing games. A woman over forty will most likely respect you for you being you.
  • Sometimes a relationship does not have to go to moving in. She may be quite happy for you to have your own place for the next 10 years.
  • Chivalry is not dead, nor are manners or respect, or choosing not to hold the covers over her head if you fart in bed.
  • Dating does not mean joined at the hip there is all the time in the world to catch up. It doesn’t have to be every single day. Like you, she has other things in her life.
  • If you don’t like her the way she is you should date another woman.
  • If you don’t turn up and don’t ring she is old enough to know that you haven’t been killed in an accident and she may well have already deleted your number.

And lastly,

Sometimes a woman over forty just wants a lover and nothing else.